TRANSCRIPT: 

00:04

Hello, welcome to the sales show. I'm Maree Kirkpatrick, your sales and business strategist. I'm a mom, a wife, and a multi-business owner myself. With over 15 years of experience in sales and business, I have worked with startups all the way through to multimillion-dollar companies. I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. I love helping service-based businesses make an income as well as an impact. Let's jump into talking about all things sales and business. 

00:34

Hello, and welcome back to the sales show. I'm really excited about today's session, we are talking to the beautiful, Sharon, about ADHD and how it shows up in business, what we can do to own our special strengths that we've got, how it shows up all that sort of stuff. So let me introduce you to Sharon, Sharon isn't on is an award-winning certified ADHD coach and consultant, as well as a mother to three boys, her husband, and her three sons have severe ADHD. And so she's got that lived experience. She's passionate about making life easier. We've had ADHD and creating home or work environments that are functional and joyful in streamlining the day-to-day tasks with innovative systems that work for the ADHD brain. Now I know Sharon and I were talking before we hit record that I think I'm probably in this basket too. And a lot of business owners and women that I talk to are kind of in a similar boat. And we for many years have just assumed that it's just part of who we are. And we've just kind of had to deal with it. But today, I'm excited to dig in and figure out what we can do to really use it to our advantage. And as I said use it as that superpower. So welcome, Sharon. I'm so excited to have you here. Thanks for joining us our show.

01:58

Thanks for having me on. I'm so excited for our chat today.

02:01

Pleasure. So let's start off with the actual basics. What is ADHD? ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition.

02:10

So it is literally a brain that is wired differently. It is genetic, you don't grow out of it, you very much. If you have an ADHD brain, you have it for life. So I'm just dispelling some myths there as well. And what it does is it affects executive function processes in the brain. So executive functions are things like short term memory, recall, time awareness, task prioritization, frustration, tolerance, stress, resilience, those sorts of things that can be affected by ADHD. But on the flip side of that, we also have extreme creativity, you know, ability to think outside the box, and lots and lots of dynamic, incredible personality traits. And, you know, I'm going to delve into that a little bit later, as well. So there's lots of really unique things that come along from this brain wiring difference.

03:01

And I think even just you saying that I remember even when I was younger, and being at school, and my school reports would be things like, Marie will do much better if she could just sit and focus or stop distracting the class or all that sort of stuff, right. And now, the way that my brain works, and the more that I've learned about it, it's one of the things that makes me unique, and makes me really frickin good at what I do. I have that creative ability to think outside the square to help people obviously grow their businesses and really implement those sales processes that aren't stock standard to be able to tailor it and all that sort of stuff. So I think I think it's great. I think ADHD, as you've said previously, it can have a bit of a stigma around it. But I think as we spoke about Off, off the before the recording, there is a new light being shone upon it, which I think is absolutely beautiful. So tell me how you feel like ADHD can show up for people in business, especially business owners and things like that. So first

04:08

of all, we see a really high number of entrepreneurial people with ADHD. And there's a few reasons why this could be number one, we tend to really lean towards being self driven. So the neurotypical brain is ordered on importance, right? So the neurotypical brain is able to go like this is really important. I'm going to do this first, which when you're looking at a worker boss scenario, that's probably a really good skill to have. Yeah, the ADHD brain is based on interest and novelty, right. So different, different motivation system. So we tend to find that people with ADHD narrow in on what they're interested in, which makes them really gifted at what they're interested in. So we're how does that show up, they start, like hyper focusing and narrowing in on the thing that they're, they're great at, right? So we see them often, you know, being able to create businesses around that interest. And that, you know that that hyper focus, and it makes for a really, really successful entrepreneur.

05:18

And that is so true, right? Like, I can spend hours sitting down doing something. And it doesn't feel hard, it doesn't feel intense. It just feels like oh, this is just what we're doing at the moment. And other people will look at me like, how can you just sit there and map something out or put together a whole sales process from a tech point of view for hours and not get up to eat or not get up to go to the bar? Like, I'm just so laser focused on that. So I absolutely understand that. What do you see as some of the challenges that can show up from a business perspective? Okay, so

05:51

this is really interesting. And it can be, I want you to know that everything we talk about here with ADHD is a generalization in the way that it's a spectrum condition. So you're like, everyone's present slightly different. It also doesn't come to the party alone, a lot of times brings friends, so might bring, we have that same coaching like it might bring, like my son has Tourette's or it might have, you know, even being gifted is another comorbidity of ADHD. So we want to make sure that, you know, these are nice generalizations for this. So some of the challenges are to do with those executive function struggles. So how I view ADHD is very much like a spider man analogy. Okay, so I'm throwing it in there. It's a really great analogy for people to understand. So when spider man gets his ability to do the webbing, right, he's a bit chaotic with it, and he keeps wetting himself. And it's, it's like one of those things. So he goes away to this industrial area, and he practices it, he practices it. And then he learns how to use his incredible gift for his advantage. That is how I view ADHD. Some people do that process easily. Some people need support via an ADHD coach or a psychologist to do that process, that ADHD in essence, is a gift. It is a high, high powered brain. Right? It's supercharged, but it can absolutely web you without the right skills and strategies in place. So that can be some of the challenges. So things that we would commonly see that people in business or, you know, when they're entrepreneurs that will have challenges with is things like momentum, they might be very good at getting started. But having trouble with that momentum of keep going, keeping going. And that's based on interest in novelty based brand. So once that novelty wears off, or the interest wanes a little bit, all of a sudden, we're looking for something else that's sparkly that's out there, that never

07:39

happens to me.

07:44

So that momentum piece can be important. Also things like stress, resilience, and frustration, tolerance can be a bit of a challenge, because nothing's more stressful than having a business trying to make sales. And also, the biggest thing that I've seen in women in particular, is boom, or bust cycles. So think about boom, or bust cycles like a wave. So we're going up, we're getting a bit stressed, we're not able to recognize when we're about to burn out, then the wave breaks, and then we go down, and then we work ourselves back up again. And so we do this boom or bust cycle. So we're really good when we're on the up, and then we burn out and we fall flat for a little while, then we have to regroup and recover. And it's this real clear boom or bust cycle, which plays havoc with the nervous system and can be a challenge to manage. But what we're really doing is really teaching people to notice the wave, and really noticing when we're on the up, because there's a lot we can do and what we can do to support our nervous systems. As we go through our lovely business journeys that are, you know, I'm sure, always full of that little bit of that wave about to break. As we manage all that,

08:49

I find that a lot of businesses have the highs and lows, even from a sales perspective. And it's interesting that you say that, I wonder how much of that is impacted from ADHD or whether it's, you know, they go through this feast or famine type mentality in their business where they're like, right, gotta go get in, get leads, get sales, generate the cash, and then it stops while they're then serving their clients or delivering on what it is that their business offers. And then they've got to go and climb back up that mountain to get more sales and leads and things like that coming in. So I think that's something to be really, really be aware of it from a business perspective as well. And it's something that I say to my clients try and reduce those highs and lows as much as you can they're always going to be there but not high highs not really high generating sales months and then no generating so then $0 months and see if you can kind of even that out and I'm assuming you would suggest that from a energy and nervous system point of view to right. Yes,

09:54

but I mean, I think the challenge is catching it. You know, it's it would be you know, A lot of people have really good self awareness. But a lot of people don't, they don't see the waves as they're coming in. So being able to notice how that feels, how that looks like for your business, but also how it looks like for you individually, is some of that challenge. But we also see things like, you know, even time awareness, you know, with ADHD, you talked talked a little bit of them about hyperfocus. Before, time, awareness can be a big thing. We're often time optimists time pessimists. So we might say, thinking our job is going to take it, we think it actually takes an hour, but we think it's going to take 10 hours, or we think we can get it done in 20 minutes, right?

10:41

Or this should only take me 20 minutes, half an hour. Next minute. I'm like, why am I still doing this two or three hours later? Yeah.

10:48

Some really unique challenges that come along with this.

10:51

Yeah, I say to a lot of my clients to do what I call SEO dates. And so in that there's, like the business aspect of it, go through your data, go through your metrics, go through your numbers, go through your sales, what's working, what's not working, what you can turn up, turn down all of that. But I always say to them include that mental side of it to for your own physical body? Where are you at? How are you thinking? How are you feeling? what's showing up in your business in that space, because the last thing that you want to do as a business owner is completely burnout from not being aware of your body, your mind, your nervous system, and all of that, too. So tell me, how will people learn to understand more about their strengths when it comes to the ADHD. So

11:41

there's a few strings that come up consistently in our testing of people with ADHD, which I'd love to chat about here. And really, we want to work with someone who's had ADHD specific training to show up, yeah, to to, to work out what your strengths are, because everyone has unique strengths. I'll talk about the ones that consistently show up in a minute. But we really want to lean heavily on our strengths, because why dedicate time and energy to something that isn't your strengths, that those are the things that we should outsource because they're just energy sucks. And if we're talking about interesting novelty, we always run with that that's a system that works for the ADHD brain, we don't try and force it into something else. It's actually catastrophic for the ADHD brain. So things that learning about what your strengths are, is important. And leaning into those, like, if there is a challenge that you're facing thinking, Okay, this comes up consistently for me this challenge, how can I use one of my strengths? Maybe your strength is curiosity, how can I use that? I'm really good, curious person, I asked really good questions, which most people with ADHD do. So how can I use that to help me with this challenge I'm facing? So maybe I just need to have the power of the pause, take a pause, not respond straightaway and think about what are the right questions to ask, what are the questions that are going to help support me in this challenge, some strengths that show up consistently our love of learning, people with ADHD love to learn now, this is not everyone, of course. But, you know, this consistently comes up really, really high when we're testing. And the other one is sense of just of fairness and justice. So we definitely like things to be fair, when when you're thinking about a business side of things that makes for great entrepreneurs, they usually have businesses that they really believe in or solving problems for other people, to make it fair across the board to make businesses that are really ethical and really great at serving other humans as well, that beautiful human connection piece.

13:41

That's interesting, because I live by the motto of impact and income. And I say to my clients, and when I choose to work with people, and I don't choose to work with everyone, I'm not interested in working with the millions and millions of people. I'm interested in working with the people that want to make the impact in the world, but also want the income to support their families and to do greater good out in the world and stuff like that, too. So that's really interesting. So tell me, how do you feel like ADHD has the ability to impact sales, whether that's both positive as well as negative?

14:14

So if we're looking at ADHD as a advantage, right, so as an evolutionary advantage, I'd love to share this with you. Because this is a really emerging topic. There's been a new research coming out about this, because we're asking the question, like, how did ADHD come about? Where does it come from? We know it's genetic. We know it's past downlines. But why is it here? And what is what's going on with it? So there's a lot of new research coming out about how it is an evolutionary thing. So if we were back in cave day Catholic caveman days with tribes, who's out the front, who's at the back, who's in the middle of these trials, what what are people's roles? And we the research is coming out that people with ADHD were the risk takers out the front, right? So they were the ones prepared to put their body on the line or, you know, take risks that the other people weren't. And so the other thing that's coming out is that they scan for safety a lot, their nervous systems are hyper vigilant. And they are scanning for safety. That's why in women, ADHD can look a lot like anxiety. But it's not, it can get misdiagnosed as that. So what we have is a nervous system, that scanning, but we're also prepared to take the jump to move forward. So how that plays out in terms of sales is often with great risk comes great reward. Playing safe, often is safe, it gets you the result, but it's the same result, right? So it can be an advantage in that regard, but also being able to notice things that other people don't. So when you're scanning for safety. And this is a really curious experiment for people at home. My beautiful ADHD is in the house of notice stuff in terms of pattern recognition, in terms of things that are happening on the street, they notice stuff that I do not see right there that how's that guy with that dog, and I'm like, What guy, I don't even see it right there, periphery nation. It's amazing. They noticed things, they noticed patterns, they're like, you know, three weeks ago, we're at the same place. And this happened, like they are able to do that pattern recognition. So what an incredible strength to have when you're in a business to number one, notice patterns of behavior patterns in other people, but also be scanning for risk and safety and reading people constantly to know how to angle in how to get the sale, how to make, you know, like these are things that are one of the frameworks

16:35

I go through is actually called the acid test assessing safety system that naturally comes up in our body anyway, I've never looked at it from I've never kind of made that connection, because it is always something that I am I'm hyper aware of. I thought it was just me from a highly trained in understanding people and psychology and sales and all of that in together. But I didn't know that it's potentially part of ADHD, which is really interesting. And I don't think I don't think it necessarily matters whether you are ADHD or not. I think there's also a part of that just human element, especially with women, where it's like our gut sometimes tells us that something's not right. We may not know exactly what it is. And a lot of the time when people are selling to us, it's like, is this person safe? Do we trust them is that connection. And that's why I always say to my clients, make sure you are passing that ask test. Because if you're not subconsciously, people will not buy from you or connect with you. And you won't know why they won't come out, say I don't know, Something's just not feeling right. So putting some of those systems and processes in behind you to ensure that even if it's someone that you're selling to that a that has ADHD, or it's something that you're working with yourself as a business owner, I think that's really important to understand that safety element of it. Absolutely. And so do you feel like ADHD can have downfalls when it comes to selling and growing a business?

18:05

I think it absolutely can, you know, again, where it can web you, right? Without the right scaffolding around it. So something that can web us is that sparkly, you know, like that novelty thing, right? So we're doing something it's going well, looks like we're about to get something over the line. But something over here looks a bit more exciting and promising. And I'm a bit sick of that one. And we've all heard the saying like the profitable businesses a boring business right now this can have a huge problem coming with ADHD because boring kryptonite, right. So we're after something new and exciting and eat, whether that be with an existing client, they're not sparkly anymore, and we're going for new people all the time. But we know that acquiring a new sale is a lot more expensive than having, like supporting our old clients. So maybe we forget to support our existing clients, but we go for the new one. Or sometimes it can be about this all or nothing approach. Now we know that comes along with ADHD we have very strong tendency to do black or white thinking, right? So we're definitely this way or when we forget about the grade the middle ground. And so that can play out in sales to you know, there can be a tendency to go all in or not at all. So we can have periods of that with our sales. So we're going all in we're hammering our marketing, we're doing all this stuff. We're acquiring new clients, but then we just go flat, and we're not doing anything for a while. So you know, having someone like you on their team to, you know, check in body double, you know, like ask them questions to get their brain back interested again, to create that momentum can be a perfect strategy, right? Because you're engaging that interest based brain again and moving away from that all or nothing or black and white approach.

19:52

I think that would also show up by people creating a lot of offers constantly like when you look at that office suites or What are these that they're selling? There's sometimes there's like 50 to 100 of them. And I'm like, What are you doing? What are we focusing on? Like, if I go into your business, and I'm confused on what it is that you're selling, and what your offers are, it's gonna be really, really hard for your audience and your ideal clients to know how to work with you are the best way, if you keep changing what it is that you're doing, or you can have a little bit of this and a little bit, there's just too much of it. So what are some tips or advice or strategies that you could give anyone listening or even myself around the best way to manage ADHD within your business to ensure that the business is stable to ensure that you feel comfortable in your business as well as keep the business growing from a sales and growth perspective?

20:47

I think my number one strategy is really about learning how ADHD shows up for you, right? Because every one is different. And we need to know what your brand of ADHD is, and how it plays out in your business to know what we're working with. Okay, so whether that be with a great ADHD passionate psychologist or an ADHD coach, or someone that you can workshop this with, I can't stress to you how important this is. Because once we know what we're working with, it takes some of the the ash the shoots out of it, right. So we do a lot of time, a lot of the time we beat ourselves up, I should be able to why can I you know, we're trying to maneuver ourselves into neurotypical thinking that we're trying to, we're looking at other people doing it by comparing with other people in our industries. And when we're thinking I should be, now we want to take that away. Because we don't have to try harder, we're already trying harder and hard enough, we need to try differently, we need to try the ways that work for our brain. And how that plays out for each individual is slightly different. So we need to discover that. So if we're not dedicating any time to understanding how our brain works, we are effectively beating our heads against a brick wall. Because we're going to do the same, make the same mistakes, the same problems and keep trying to look for new systems, it's almost like making a plan to have a plan all these new systems, but not actually being able to execute any of them. So they need to be really, really tailored to that individual. And we need to have that support. The next one I wanted to, in terms of strategy, something that works really well is body doubling. So even like working with someone like yourself, is essentially a body doubling strategy. So when you are doing something with someone else, it introduces interest and novelty, which allows the ADHD brain to do its best work, you go into your zone of genius. So even if it's not something like that, even it's like just working with a with someone else who you know, on Zoom, and you say what you're doing, and then you work an hour, and then you check in at the end to see how it's going. It's a very powerful strategy to get a lot done and, you know, allow them to move that themselves forward. But also in terms of actual sales lean into what you are very strong at what are your strengths. If your strength is human connection, that is where we want you, we want you in front of people don't waste time doing stupid accounts. If that's not your zone of genius, right? outsource that crap, because it will suck you lifeforce and you'll it will affect your bottom line in sales, we want to make sure that your zone of genius is honored, if your zone of genius is look and hunting, like you're the hunter of the new business, get out there and do the hunting and find someone else to do the maintaining stuff. Because, you know, we don't want to put someone in a position that that's not honoring their strengths.

23:46

I remember when I was working in a corporate in a corporate environment. And I used to be one of the leading salespeople in this business. And my goal was always to connect with people make the sale, help them move forward. And I remember having this boss that used to be like Marina, your paperwork and your admin is so sloppy. And I was like, I'm not the admin person, I'm the salesperson. My job is to sell to connect to hold people to move the business forward. I'm not too interested in the paperwork and be like, but you've got to do the paperwork as part of your job. And I was like, I don't want to do it. And I just decided that I didn't want to do that that he wants. So I just focused on making those sales. And then obviously when you go into your own business, at the start, you've got to believe that jack of all trades, right? Sometimes you don't have the cash flow to do to outsource or things like that. But I think it's so true when you say focus on your strengths and what your zone of genius is, and what lights you up because that's the game changer. Do business your way. I think that's also cool and what would be your final tip.

24:51

I think the final tip is about self compassion and self kindness, right because I work with a lot of adult So with ADHD, and they often with ADHD comes self esteem issues, we've been, you know, exposed to trauma exposed to telling them that they're not right in some way. That's the world's message. But one of my favorite parts of my job is really about shining a light on the things that they do well, and letting them have that self compassion that there is so much they can do well, right, we do things that I can my brain could only dream of. And one of the great strategies that I can do that I worked my clients on is essentially called a rainbow list, right? I don't love that name. But I love the concept. Because

25:40

training from the HVAC perspective sounds like a great new shiny object. Well,

25:46

it's because we have a tendency to move on very quickly from our wins. So the brain has negativity bias, people with ADHD are much more likely to remember the times that it hasn't gone well. Right. And so what we want to do is create a document or something, post it notes on your wall or something that tells you about the times that you You have done well, and you've got it right and your magnificent moments, because what we're doing is collecting collating evidence to back it up to give you that confidence that you've got this. And it's so common for us to look back and go like, in when we're feeling a bit overwhelmed are like, I can't do anything I've, you know, these are the sales that I missed out on. But what about all the ones that you got? What about all the ones where the people are like, you got all that amazing feedback, I bet you you only remember the one time you didn't get the great feedback, right? So we having a list of those, that rainbow list of all the times that you nailed. It gives you evidence to make more confident decisions in the future. And also what we celebrate gets repeated, we want to mark those and mark those quite significantly for the beautiful book for everyone. But even more important for people with ADHD because we know that they have taken a little bit of a beating in the you know, in terms of their schooling and, you know, trying to fit into a world that maybe wasn't wired for them as they've been growing up. But they can do incredible things. I mean, all my favorite people in the world have ADHD, and you only have to look at how many successful people with ADHD there are. There's so many. So so much greatness to be celebrated. But we need to shine a light for ourselves. And we need to shine a light. So we remember those really big wins, because they are and once you start scratching the surface on that they go Oh, yeah, like I did. Like they they usually lead in with a negative and coaching. Like, they'll be like, Oh, no, this happened. This isn't working well, but then they'll be like, but I did get like, you know, I had this really awesome win. And I'll just say it casually. And I'm like, what? Why don't you leave with that, like, so amazing. So we market we really, really market and helps them celebrate it. And people can do that for themselves as well by creating that rainbow list so they can look back on it. Beautiful.

27:59

And obviously I can tell how passionate you are about this stuff. You run the functional family business. Tell me what got you into it. How did you start it? Because from a business perspective, it sounds like you've had that both experience like life experience, but also matched with the qualifications. I'm curious what came first?

28:20

Well, life experience definitely came first. Yeah. So I married this incredible man, and he is the most like ADHD person I've ever met still to this day. And this is what I do for a living. So he had, he's got this much incredible, like, genius brain. But he had lots and lots of trauma, like banned from the classroom told that he was the naughty kid never got invited to a party, that kind of really hyperactive presentation. And of course, you know, we're talking like 80s 90s here. So we're not handling ADHD, great back then. Lots of traumas. And so we went on to have, I was always fascinated by his brain and what his brain was able to do. And then we had three boys, all of them have ADHD, and various letters and things as well. And for me, it was really about understanding how their brain worked. And I really started realizing that what worked for me wasn't going to work for those guys. It just needed to be tailored. And that's what started my study into ADHD. I've been fascinated by it for 15 years, like absolutely working it out trying experiments on my poor family, you know, seeing what works for their brain seeing what doesn't work for their brain. And now I'm in this beautiful position of being able to help I work with adults I work with families, you know, being able to support not only the people with ADHD but the people who support them as well. Because I love anything that makes life easier with ADHD and create systems and and the right accommodations for it because it's something to be celebrated but we need to help People have the tools to not let themselves slide Spider Man, we need to help executive function skills can be built. So if people are struggling with executive functions, they can be built their muscle that we can build, but we need to have the right support in place. And this is an area that needs a lot of support needs a lot of support, you know, and there's particularly for families of young kids or people who are starting out in their journey like we this is something that we haven't traditionally done very well. So I'm super passionate about that. And also making sure that we have the right resources, the right tools in the right place for all our beautiful ADHD is beautiful. If someone is listening to this now and saying, Wow, some of the things that Sharon and Maria have spoken about kind of show up in my life, or I feel like there's some support that I could do with to help focus me and really understand more about myself to make life easier and streamline things, where would they find some information. So the best way to to have a look at you know, my work that I do is through my website, so the functional family.com Have a look on there, we do private coaching. So that was where I'll be working with adults one on one, we do parent mentoring. So if you're looking at the whole family unit, and we get a lot of business owners through a lot, a lot of business owners through because, you know, we really want to show them where their strengths are and create that's right systems, or they're there to show the world how amazing their brains are. So if they're feeling that consistent, overwhelmed or stuck in that boom or bust cycle, you know, it is time to reach out for support. If you want to know where you what your brain how your brain is wired and how that shows up for you. There's so much power in that news, so much to be excited about like this is this is a game changer.

31:48

Yeah. And I love the the relationship between, you know, like you setting up the systems and the support around people to get the best out of them. And I feel like I do the same from a business and sales perspective. And so I think marrying those two together is just beautiful, beautiful relationship. Well, thank you so much for joining us today on that bombshell show. I think there's a lot in there that people can use and to implement. I know for myself, I will be going away and you know, digging a little bit deeper and understanding what else I can do to support myself and keep myself laser focused to grow and help more people and things like that as well. So I really appreciate your time today, Sharon, and until the next episode of the sales show. We look forward to seeing you soon. Bye.

32:35

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the sales show. Please share it on social media for your friends to see and make sure you tag me at MareeKirkpatrick so I can personally say if you would like to show me some love, leave me a review on Apple podcasts. I'd love to hear from you email me at podcast at MareeKirkpatrick.com. And if you'd like to work with me further or see any of the free resources mentioned on today's show, they can be found at MareeKirkpatrick.com I truly hope this podcast provides useful information and so much value to you so that you can build a business with impact and Income